well this is liket he most depressing week of my life!!!! Absolutely everything could go wrong. First of all my grandma died. Felt like my heart jsut jumped out of my chest and is gone forever and crushed in a blender! All my firends are going away for college which means i am the only one stuck in duluth, living alone nad going to college and work. how depressing, I have no life really, jsut work and work and work and visiting work and fucking work! even though i love my job still though how much can i get of it shit! Anyway, what else has gone wrong? I got 5 classes but turned out that they cancelled one of my classes. WHAT BITCHES!!! wtf. who does that! school is school and they canceled it bitch! damn! what else i got a new phone but hey its not like anyone ever calls it!!! CAUSE NO ONE DOES EVER!!!! someone should soon or i am gonna burst! weird. and also what else, i have spent alot of time with my mom recently since my grandma died you know and just today she said i was neat!!! i was like wow! what happened to me being a whore and that i cause you so much trouble! she slike well you used to not anymore these past weeks you are being such a great granddaughter and daughter i am jsut amazed im like okay mom wow. I am sorta nervous for college though. This is gonan be the most drastic step i have in my life well not really but it sounds nice doesnt it...maybe i should have went away for college but then i wouldnt be happy and i feel like now that my grandma died i shoudl be there for my mom even though my mom is taking it soo m uch better th an me. i only saw  her cry twice, me in the other hand every chance i get. I work tomorrow...whooppie and im sorta excited gives me something to do and i lvoe all the residents there even though soemtimes they bite, pinch,, cuss, or scream for bloody murder its liek SHUT UP! shyt or this one lady acting like she is literally 2 and hten when her son coems to visist EVERY DAY she is normal its like grow up lady shit! dont play mind games with me jsut becuase you stupid. and her son is just as stupid as she is! seriously im like man maybe you should be here living with your mom. this world would be a better place. wow im mean. Anyway back to my grandma! sorry to make this depressing but its soo sad everytime i just sit and ponder during hte night i jsut cant stop but to think of my grandma. i miss her. i have been clsoe to her for the last 15 years and living with her for hte past 6 months and everyday i was getting use to waking up hearing my grandma say"Bertina are you working today??" and i was nicely reply "YES GRANDMA" but sorta weird waking up and not hearing my grandma no more. NOt seeing this little cute petite grandma half hte time in pink looking soo cute that you jsut want to hug all the time but now as an endless memory in my heart. This is sorta weird for me too. the first death i have been witnessed and been through and having it inside my head it hurts and hardly no one can relate though really and i jsut want to break down all the time but there is no one to talk to. not even my boyfirend (J'von) seems to care. JACKASS! all ig ot is my mom. whooopie! anyway, I am gonan go this is depressing. I'm alright, well I'll be alright in TIME. thanks for reading this though anyone! leave a mess....

~Bertina....

p.s. people who alwyas bring up the weird people i used to hang out with. ei: shidiki or however you fucking spell it and TUTU, really pisses me off. sorry to say though but its true jsut wanted to say it so i dont hold it in anymore. its not like i go around going up to people sayign hows whoever when they hate them too. or whatever it dont make sense. and well for you people t hat still do that to me really need to grow up. you're in college SO ACT LIKE IT! not being a bitch but still though seriously. be a friend to me OR just dont! thanks

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA~~